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Thursday, February 11, 2016

18 things I did during my 4 month break.

When I started this year, I was coming from a not-so-good place. I never want to return to that or remember how that felt. But I remember this much. The first day of 2015, I made a conscious promise to myself, written proof of which is contained in my diary;

"I must promise myself to improve the quality of my life." 

At the time I had written that, I did not really know how to do that, or whether or not it was possible. Being occupied with studies and all that, I kind of neglected my promise. But my exams finished mid-May, and since school was only starting mid-September, that left me with four months to do everything I wanted to do but pushed off because 'NO TIME'.

1. First things first, I cut my hair short. The last time I had that length was about 7 years ago. "WHY?" Because I feel like whenever I have ended a major chapter or am about to begin a new one, I do something to my hair. And this time, it was the beginning of something . I knew I wanted to take charge of my life and fill the blank pages with colours.

2. I watched a shitload of TV series. Some got me laughing, which was what I needed, some got me learning, and some got me thinking. Either way, it was the perfect way to make me feel like I was doing something with my life, when in actual fact I was sitting down terkangkang on my computer chair.

3. I started working out, real intense. I feel like I can write a manual on 'how-to-look-like-you-know-what-you're-doing-in-a-gym-when-you-really-don't'. Results were evident, because 80% of the conversations I had with people who were seeing me for the first time in a long time begin with 'OMG STOP LOSING WEIGHT!'.

And before you jump on the 'shame-the-superficial-slut' bandwagon, I did not do this to seduce any guy or impress anyone. I just had a goal for myself, and wanted to get it accomplished. I am finally (more than) happy what I see in the mirror, and that's a lot more than most people can say for themselves.

4. I developed a newfound attraction to humility, gratitude, kindness and simplicity and am now working on integrating it into my lifestyle. Those who knew me before would find this change perplexing. I painted my walls for me to look at the moment I wake up, a D-I-Y project which was rather impulsive.

5. I used the time to meet a lot of friends and go out for breakfast, lunch or tea dates. My support system is really helping me out, without it I would just crumble. While on the topic of friends, I also MADE a whole lot of  new friends.

6. I finally got me a legit part time job in hipster-central a.k.a Typo. I don't know how that happened, but I would consider myself lucky. It definitely taught me a thing or two about gratitude, how a simple; "have a nice day, darling" or a smile can make the entire day seem better, or how to have the guts to talk to people first instead of waiting to be spoken to.

7. Found myself on Tinder as uh,... part of experiment. (Does that make it any less facepalm-worthy?) Although a lot of my time's spent left swiping, my right swipes did not disappoint. And yes, I know how to be careful, tyvm. ♥

8. Did a whole lot of reading. Be it literature , or the newspaper. I knew I wanted to improve my vocabulary kaw-kaw so that I will someday not have to use 'kaw-kaw' and establish my class with words like 'temerity' and 'meretricious' , lol. I loved all the books I read, one of which was written by the very same person who taught me Public Law and Common Law.

9. Joined this 'Aloft Star MTV' competition and somehow awkward-hobbled my way to  become a finalist of a song-composing competition which validates that sometimes being my quirky ol' self pays off. I swear I had no intention of making it that far but when I did get that far I started thinking about just how much further I could go if I pushed for it. Granted, I didn't make it far enough to secure Top 5 or win but 11k votes (6th place) for an absolute nobody is a lot to me. And that paved the way for a whole bunch of other songs I composed but will not record because ....malu la.

10. Attempted to learn how to swim but cannot for the life of me get over the fact that being down means you can't breath. I will get over this one day, I know. Just not soon. I want to learn how to swim!!

11. Went sort-of-clubbing and drinking in Changkat for the first time. Would not have done it with anybody else but my cousins. And I am so glad I'm not one of those emotional Devdas-drunks. I just start laughing at a whole lot of things that normally wouldn't be funny. And I get a little more touchy feely. Which could be a hazardous thing.

12. Tried out this casting thing for some BAC ad. The fact that I was standing in front of a green screen with a camera on me was...exciting. I don't even care if I got the part ! ;)

13. Went for my first concert, tickets won from dancing. Went with the right people. The experience was fun. Just that, it's not ideal for claustrophobic farts like myself.

14. Did a whole lot of dancing. Some routines as part of exercise, others as part of poyo. Runs through my veins.

15. Did a whole lot of writing. It's like for MONTHS my journal is empty, then come these holidays it's filled with thoughts and rants about everything going on around me. If I die one day, I want to be buried with my journals. All 7 of them to date.

16. Did a whole lot of shopping. Naturally when I feel like I am surrounded by new things I feel more energized to propagate change in my life. Retail therapy can sometimes be a great thing. But in moderation lah. Although that would be difficult, because tell me how not to utilize a staff discount in friggin Typo !?

17. Visited new places. In KL itself. Made me feel like a tourist in my own country.

18. Got a chance to jump in a bouncy castle when I was working for this carnival. It was a lot of fun.

What inspires you?

I like to see fit people. Especially those who were plum before and worked their butt off (pun intended) to lose weight . When I see people like that I see determination. A fiery passion for changing their life in a healthy way; a mode of channeling that much hurt into this energy. And that inspires me.

I like to see someone practice music (guitar, vocals, keyboard) through youtube till they get it perfect. It shows me how they take their dreams or hobbies seriously and make the most of what little they have to get there. And that inspires me.

I like when people speak more than 2 languages. (I find malayalam, tamil, spanish and hindi sexy) Needless to say, I am the kind of person who swoons at eloquent people. It's like when they speak the world moves in slow motion while I take the time to appreciate the movement of their lips. And that inspires me.

I like when I see someone sitting in the library alone late at night, caught up with their book or assignment. It shows me they take their priorities seriously. It shows me how we don't need crowds around us all the time to feel whole. And that inspires me.

I like wearing a sweater when walking on the sidewalks after a rain, just tuned into some jazzy music. The smell of rain and the stillness of everything sends a peaceful ripple down my spine. And that inspires me.

I like days when I look pleasant in a simple dress. Not with makeup, but from happiness. It reminds me that life is never made entirely of unhappy days; that pain sometimes bears lessons, toughens us up and teaches us to appreciate the little that we have at the moment. And THAT. Not only gives me hope but inspires me.