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Friday, April 15, 2016


Once in a blue moon, my eyes wander in pursuit of a partner in crime.

However, the reality of people eventually leaving is so terrifying it prevents me from taking that leap of faith.
"Oh , Amelia it must be that time of the month again. Shut up, focus on your goals."

And just like that the feeling is dismissed.
But not for long.

Then I see, a cover of some pop song by some couple. They don't sing that well but they seem to really enjoy doing something they like with each other.

Then I see, a toddler walking in the mall, dressed so age-appropriately trendy, hand in hand with her equally fashionable mom , in her early 30s. And I imagine all the ways I would dress and spoil my daughter.

Then I see, a modest couple on instagram. Not the annoying kinds where 90% of post are each other , but views of the beach , an aesthetically pleasing photograph of milo ais in the mamak, the turquoise and black pair of Nikes she'd wear to hike hills, stay-home dates binge-watching sitcoms and the only evidence you have that they were doing those together was from the tags. They don't photograph each other, you just see the view of what they see.

And suddenly, it dawns on me that people accept the reality that nothing is permanent. It scares everyone; yet they make the best of what is already existent before them. The mistake I repeatedly make (and probably will continue to make) is to plan for a future. And live so much in there, that the present feels under-appreciated.

So if an opportunity presents itself now, Would it be time for that leap yet?

"...Amelia, seriously. Your exams are 18 days away. What are you doing."