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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Co exist.

Have you met someone who wanted nothing more than to be understood, yet feared nothing more than to be understood?

She was a lot of things.

 The calm, peaceful, resourceful person who manages and plucks out the first contingency plan out of the folder where ten others similar to it are stored. Solves other people's problems like it is her own . The perfectionist. Playing safe. Following the rules. Does what is told, excellently while at that. The person people come to to unload the secrets they cannot even confess to themselves.

Yet within her there was equally this other side , a raging storm which could not easily be quietened. Always feeling too much. Always restless, always searching for something new to conquer because every day is like a conquest, a new adventure. Completely shameless. Fearless, maybe? Like every day began with a bottle of Budweiser. Spoke her mind, comes across as self absorbed, a narcissist. Reckless. Anxious. Dresses up.

When they both coexist, when people want to cherry pick parts they love, and reject the rest, it brews turmoil. But even she knows, if one side did not exist, it would change her as a person completely.

So she finds herself kind of just, ...existing. Trying anything to calm the waters,