If you love something , set it free.

I think everyone reaches a point one day where they know it's time to let go of something or someone which no longer serves any positive impact or bearing in their lives.

This would mean, a point when , you question if you stick around out of ;
- a misplaced sense of loyalty
- fear of change,letting go of something you're familiar with, with nothing to jump onto
- holding on to good memories, which are long overdue and have not been renewed for some time.

The price you pay when you move to a new phase of your life, but carry old baggage = the baggage disrupts the future plans. Maybe it wasn't always baggage. Maybe it was functional, once upon a time , but the tides turned and now it does not do you any good. Now , holding onto it just brings about pain and hurt.

The kind of hurt you COULD easily dispense with but you don't because ..
(refer to above list).

Introspection should be able to bring about a lot more than realisation. The realisation has set in. So what about the action? What happens next is in your hands . 

Superficial times.

I've always thought -- If you're going to have a face between your legs, at least make it a pretty one.

Sexual attraction is imperative. However, sexual attraction and attraction on its own can hold different meanings.

I've consistently been 'attracted' to people with depth.

This may include, (although it's a non-exhaustive list) :

People with anxiety issues, so they know what it's like to not diminish someone else's thoughts into the far future and just wanting to be ready for what comes.
People who know what rejection is like, just so that they are sensitive to people who are weak or have less.
People who know what hard work really means, so even if one day they hit rock bottom financially, they have it in them to start from scratch and recreate the empire.
People, who developed a good sense of humor as a defence mechanism, or simply to compensate for not having the best looks. Because who doesn't enjoy a good banter?
People who, and this is a new addition-- are kind to strangers like waiters or spares some change to a beggar, smiles at who they meet and speaks with tact.
People who think it is important to speak well, even when it comes to text. Because this opens a portal to a deeper level of communication when you can articulate exactly what you feel or are thinking, and communication resonates more freely.
People who are loyal so they stand by you when things are difficult, not hop on to the next easiest thing.

Now, if I found some of these in a person, this would be it.  Right? um. I don't know.

Can these traits outweigh a pretty face with no substance? I don't know.
Can I live with someone who has most of these but not my idea of what a physically attractive face is like? Again, I don't even know.

At which point does sexual attraction come in? Does it come in when you look at someone's face first, then your mind begins to conjure these traits within them? Or do you see these traits and gradually this physically unattractive person becomes sexually attractive? ...you got it. I don't know.

I mean, I know this is a relatively shallow issue to discuss because I know of times when people did not have the luxury of being in love/sexually attracted. This was also a time when parents traded/united their children like cattle to create the best potential outcome for their families in terms of wealth, ties and status.

I guess it all boils down to what is important to a person. What is it that you need from another human being that you cannot already provide yourself? And before you even demand this from another person, are you first, what that person hopes you to be?


My current view is that it's simply illogical to have the best of both worlds.  I think that it defeats logic for a person to be both good looking (in the traditional sense) and have the kind of... depth I exemplified. Because the world is generally kinder to those with a pretty face, so they would never have to know what a day is like in the world of people who aren't like them. Naturally their personalities will differ because they see the world through a different lens. Naturally the (much nicer) events which shape them differ. Naturally, the crowd they mix with will differ, so the way they interact with people differs.

I have this feeling that the only compatible person for me that I can think of right now is someone who knows what it's like to have been on both ends of the social spectrum and possibly be flexible on the gender scale too. So in other words, this means that I will die alone.

Sekian terima kasih.

The story about the sea

There is a sea where all parents dump their kids in.

In certain hours of sunrise or sunset, you can almost see the vague dichotomy of individual lanes for each kid to swim. Much like an infinity pool. Except this one really does feel like infinity. You can already tell it's going to be a long journey before they see land again. What the parents lacked for in terms of stamina, they made up for with their sacrifice and love, just in order to get their kids within the vicinity of the sea. They bet their livelihood on their little swimmers making it through the end.

From the early years of parenting, their children have been groomed. They have been fed with the idea that the way to a better life is to swim through this sea and come out at the end. They were told to swim, no matter how hard it gets, and reach the end, as fast as they can. And now, the were here.

Moments away from the big swim.

Why fast? we don't know.
These parents had themselves been groomed by their own parents. The idea was that getting near the seas just meant you were that much closer to success. You just follow, you don't ask. Year in, year out. Two intakes per year. You just give them all the money you have, and then you qualify to participate. Then, the 'race' begins, (and ends-- at everyone's own pace). We aren't told why the sea is a measure of whether or not someone has, in simple terms 'made it'. It just is. The trick is simple. Get to the end. Fast.

Some take their time. Some come equipped with the best swimsuits/swimwear. Some don't have the money to afford the gear, and come with what little they have and their natural swimming abilities. Only those who have actually swam in it would be able to tell you what a deceptive sea it is. How volatile and unpredictable. How sometimes, waves come crashing in and threaten to engulf you whole. Then, hours later, a calmness. The kind that you could fall asleep on its surface.

Some give it their full force in the race, from start to end. Some take their time and go where the tides take them. Some find what way works for them, and by sheer luck, stumble upon abandoned boats, floats or rafts and seize what little chance they have to preserve their dying stamina. Now, everyone's stamina is different. It is NOT a level playing field. But what it somehow is, is that it's a race.

What happens at the end? Success, we are told. A better life.

Never mind that we barely have any energy left in us by the time we get there. Never mind the nearly impossible journey and all the ways you tried that didn't work out. Never mind the fact that you had to leave behind familiarity and brave this foreign sea which felt a lot like a foe than a friend. Never mind that you were swimming with equally devious company, the kind that would drown you to take the lead. The kind that helps you all the way then when you get close to land leaves you on your own. Never mind that you don't even know how to swim. You were supposed to. It's what normal people do.  In the end, you got there. That's what counts , no?