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Monday, January 23, 2017

Throwback to turning twenty one.

Sometimes I wonder what I mean to people. What role I play in their life. What significant difference it would bring if I just backed out of theirs. It's a good feeling to be valued, and I'm unashamed to admit. It also takes conscious effort to stand out among mediocre friends. An effort I willingly put in, just so I won't be a fading name or face. In that regard, it's also become increasingly awkward to show someone just how much they are valued these days.

With sexuality being an increasingly fluid concept, the line between romantic and platonic can be very easily blurred. That's exactly why birthdays mean so much. It's when you can be all sappy and get away with it. I always viewed turning 21 as, a big deal. Because it's the age of partying, recklessness within limits, sex, relationships, adulthood, driving, planning early stages of career, graduation, etc. Disappointingly, I've come to realise how a lot of these things terrify me and that nothing was supposed to have 'already happened' by 21 like a deadline. Some take longer to adult and that's okay. At least that's what I tell myself.

The older I get the more I feel that valuable things don't come with price tags. If you think about it, it's some of the most simple gestures, such as, a card, a video, a photo album, or a genuinely written letter. I don't think it's a secret how much I love writing. But, having someone write TO ME, now--that's a bombshell.  In fact, I value them so much that I don't even touch cards or letters I receive that much . Because they wrote that letter having in mind that I like these things.

I was just revisiting my 21st birthday photots. It was a very nice one for me (though I can't say that the day had the same effect for everyone) and it really opened my eyes as to who would go the extra mile for me. I appreciate everyone who made an effort to make it a nice day. I have never had a 'surprise' birthday party  thrown for me so I definitely feel blessed.

(some gifts ended up being consumed, oops)

 Thank you guys, for allowing this to happen . Much love. <3 and="" br="" gratitude.="" much="" of="" so="">