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Friday, April 21, 2017

When faith becomes self-harm.

If something is not right and you merely cling on to the hope that it 'will get better' some day either by a given date or an uncertain one, (which is worse) I personally think that it's a form of self harm.  Faith, while great , cannot operate if it is sustained on so little. An emotional mess is horrible because while everything might be running according to plan, on time, to the best of capabilities, something just feels off. Missing. All the things which used to seem very fun, loses its appeal.

To talk to someone with the same sentiments might sway the conclusion towards suicidal tendencies.

To talk to someone who has not been on the same boat, might provoke sympathy but not empathy. They just won't get it.

To open up to parents would ellicit confusion because there are bigger responsibilities to tend to.

To be so far away from everything which feels safe or like a hug; then paradoxically be immersed in unfamiliar, unsafe waters is like having a phobia of drowning then having the person you trust force your head underwater and tell you 'It's for your own good'. So will things be right? I don't know. But they tell you it works out when you do not care so much about it. But does it not suggest you've given up on it when you don't care so much about it? So what's the point of things getting better when it does not matter anymore?